Stop Looking For Outside Validation of You Worth... It's Sabotaging Your Results!

Do you feel like the results you create in your life are a reflection of your worth and value? Do you feel let down when things don't turn out as good as you had intended?

Looking for outside validation of your worth is a sure way to keep you stuck in feeling unworthy. When you connect your value to anything outside of yourself you set yourself up for disappointment.

The thing is, you ARE worthy and it has nothing to do with what outer results you create. And I also have come to see that your outer results increase the more that your belief in yourself and your worth increases.

I have seen that people who don't feel worthy to begin with tend to see things in a distorted way. They rarely see the success they do create, even in the face of great success. And they are so quick to point out what they didn't do rather than the success they have created. It's just the natural way because they are driven by an unconscious unworthiness. And when you are driven by unworthiness you can't help but to look for evidence of it.

I know this all too well myself. This has been a great challenge for me as well. I realized that when you feel unworthy deep down, you set your expectations and goals almost impossibly high. You actually set yourself up for failure without realizing.

Then even if you create great success, it's no comparison to what you wanted. In one year I had increased my sales by 322%. That's a massive success! But at the end of that year I still felt like a failure because I didn't make my huge goal.

Can you see how ridiculous this is?

Do you see how you might be doing this?

You need massive proof of your worth when you feel unworthy, that's why you set your sights so high. And when you are driven unconsciously from a place of unworthiness, it is almost impossible to create those incredible results you want.

When you feel worthy, you disconnect from the outer results and celebrate ALL of your successes, because you see clearly without a distorted filter.

The one thing the Law of Attraction does is help you go for the best, to envision something truly amazing for yourself, that really is a major stretch. And this is a good thing. But you can't tie your worth to whether or not it happens as fast as you'd like or whether it happens or not.

If you really want big results, you have to go big, I'm all for that. But don't measure your value based on what you create. Make a choice to see ANY forward movement as progress that is worthy of being celebrated.

If you want to break out of this disappointment and unworthiness dilemma, you need to reverse the process.

If you want good results, you must detach from the outer results.

You must see your results as separate from you. Sure they are a reflection of you but if you attract limited results it has more to do with how you see yourself than your actual worth.

Which brings you to the second step to shifting this, you must shift your self-view if you are ever going to attract anywhere near the results that you want. Rather than watching for evidence of whether or not you are worthy, begin noticing and collecting evidence of your worth right now.

One way I did this was to start writing out self-appreciation in my gratitude journal. I just made myself list the things that I appreciated about myself. And when I looked at myself from this viewpoint I could finally see clearly...

I HAD created a lot, I did have a lot of successes worth celebrating, even if I hadn't made that impossibly high goal. I was giving myself what I needed, I was stepping up for myself and my most amazing life. I was committed. I was authentic.

And I really HAD created a lot of what I did want. The evidence was all around me. And through this I started seeing my true value and worth. It was not just shown in what I created, it was shown through who I was and how I was showing up in my life.

Break the connection between your outer results and your worth. Embrace your worth NOW, see the good, see the progress, see what is right. And you can't help but to create better results, because you will finally be coming from a place of worthiness and you won't need to validate yourself by results. And your results can finally soar.



Copyright © 2009 Fia Crandall

You Are Meant to Do It Your Way

Do you ever get the feeling that you are being "squished" into something that you're not? Like you really are a square peg trying to force yourself into a round hole but it's not really working and you're getting tired of it?

I want to share with you something I found to be very powerful that I hope changes your views on yourself and how you are designed.

When I was in my old nine to five job I had always felt this resistance to the fact that I had to be there for those eight hours, no matter what. There was even a point in my career where there was absolutely no work for us to do and we STILL had to come in for those eight hours. It always bugged me.

Now at first I just thought it was because I wanted a dream life where I could make my own schedule and wake up when I wanted and end my days when I wanted. Now this is partly true but recently I realized something big!

I am not a nine to five person. I actually found out that my energy runs differently than what is expected when you show up for your eight hour shifts. I actually work in bursts of energy where I have this insane efficiency and get massive work done in a very short time. And I also have plenty of time where I really don't do that much at all.

I thought I was lazy or something. But looking at it now, this is really just my natural rhythm. I rest and become more receptive for a time then when it's time to take action I have full and intense energy that takes me ahead by leaps and bounds. But it's a rhythm that I need to operate in to be the most efficient.

I used to think I was a "crammer" in University. I wouldn't study until almost the day before for most exams. And it worked. I thought I was "doing it wrong" but recently I realized that no, I wasn't "doing it wrong", I just needed that downtime before the burst of energy that was sure to come along to help me do what I needed to do very efficiently.

So what does this have to do with you?

You have a way that is YOU. It is natural to you, it makes sense and it is not a bad thing. In fact, I truly believe that the work that you are uniquely designed for must be done YOUR WAY by you.

I resisted the nine to five not just because I wanted freedom. Yes I did want freedom, but it is more than that, I am actually designed to work in a certain way that allows me to do what I came here to do in the most effective and powerful way.

I need lots of down time now so I can bring through the inspiration that I'm meant to share with those I'm meant to serve. And because I allow this I bring through what is SO connected with those I'm here to serve, I hear about it all the time.

And my life is set up to match Who I Am. I stopped trying to fit myself into that round hole and instead I created (or stepped into) my place in the world that is exactly designed for me. I am free, because for me to be free means I can serve those I'm meant to serve in the highest way a way that feels wonderful and natural to me.

Can you begin to embrace the idea that your resistance you feel to certain things is actually telling you that you are meant to approach things in a different way?

That maybe you?re not being selfish for wanting to do things differently, that maybe it actually allows you to Be Who You Came Here to Be in the fullest, most meaningful way?

Activating Your Authentic Way

Allow yourself to get quiet for a moment. Imagine an ocean wave of light washes over you and takes away any tension, thoughts and stresses. Just let it go.

Now ask to be shown what resistance is showing up in your life that is actually showing you an opportunity to discover "your way".

And once you receive this, ask: "what is my way here"?

And to allow this way to more gently come into reality ask: "how can I embrace my authentic way within the exact same outer situation"?

Even when I was in my nine to five I allowed myself to work "my way". I got together my "to do" list for the day and didn't act until I felt like it. I'd start with the task with the most energy and most of the time while I was doing that I'd run into people I needed to talk to in order to take care of my other tasks on my list.

So start now, wherever you are, to embrace "your way".

And I'd like to also spark within you the idea that your entire life not only can be "your way" but is meant to be "your way".



Copyright 2009 Fia Crandall

Stop Pretending You Don’t Have Negative Emotions!

One thing that I have found is a common challenge on this path is that spiritually conscious people tend to not allow themselves to feel their negative emotions. They are strong, capable people who in general are very positive, yet in order to “stay positive” and have things “going good” they often ignore their emotions.

Sound familiar?

It is also a common fear that if you let yourself feel your negative emotions, you will plunge to the depths of them and never get out. That if you feel hurt by what someone says and you just let yourself feel it you are dwelling on it and it’s going to feel worse.

I really want to shed some light on this because it is one of the most damaging things I see spiritually conscious people tend to do to themselves. First, let’s look at what is really happening when you ignore or deny your emotions.

Do you often feel like people don’t seem to care about you as much as you want them to? About your needs and how you feel? Is your partner hurtful without realizing? Do you give so much and receive little in return?

These are all situations that you tend to attract when you are ignoring your negative emotions. And of course, this furthers the emotional denial because you are upset and it appears as though they are causing it… but they’re not. YOU are unconsciously.

Why does this happen?

Let’s go back to basic Law of Attraction, you attract what matches your energy.

By ignoring your negative emotions, what do you think is happening energetically?

You are saying that your feelings do not matter. It doesn’t matter that you’re hurt, sad, angry, in pain, heartbroken. You literally send out a vibrational message that you are not important and don’t matter.

So if that’s happening energetically, what do you think you attract?

People who tend to treat you as if you don’t matter, they don’t consider your feelings or needs. Or, you attract this behavior from the people in your life, even if they don’t mean to be like this.

And, by the way, if you are not allowing yourself to feel a negative emotion, you may think you are tricking the Law of Attraction but you’re not. You attract what matches your ENERGY. If you allow your emotions to flow, they dissipate, if you deny them, they become a part of your energy field and you attract more that matches them.

But the good news is that you can turn this around, and it doesn’t have to be as difficult as you think.

Now I want to be clear up front that I am suggesting this for everyday situations where you are experiencing a not-too-deep or intense negative emotion. Deeper negative emotions tend to point to stronger, deeper energetic patterns. I don’t suggest you try to make those go away by just feeling them as they are energetically anchored into your energy field and they are there for a reason you must resolve before they will release. I prefer an easier way to shift old patterns and that is using my Intuitive Healing Process. Or if you feel it may be a psychological issue, definitely seek professional help to get through it so you can get to a place of honoring yourself and feeling your emotions as you can see it is very important!

So, let’s shift the energy around this so you can be attracting better treatment from those in your life and so you can begin to feel important, honored and valued.

It all starts with you and how you treat yourself, when I say express your emotions, I mean get them out. This doesn’t mean everyone needs to know what your emotions are, again, this centers around YOU and I don’t even care if you’re the only one who knows about them at this point. In fact, it can feel good to get your negative emotions out on paper then rip it up and dispose of it, it’s a freeing experience!

Now first, I want to go back to the fear most people have, that if you let yourself feel your negative emotions you will be consumed by them. I have found that if your intention beforehand is to honor yourself and to feel better in doing so, the more you allow yourself to feel your emotions, the more they just dissipate as you get to the depths of them! Okay, so next time you feel a slightly negative emotion coming up, instead of just brushing it off or pretending you’re fine, here’s what I want you to do:

1. Stop and give yourself some quiet time to yourself and get out your journal. Even a piece of paper will do if you don’t have a journal yet, you can even throw it away after if you don’t want anyone to see it. The point is not to have a record of your emotions, the point is to EXPRESS your emotions.

2. Start out by setting an intention or asking for support, silently or on paper. This can go something like “Please help me to honor myself and my emotions and to get to a place of feeling better”, or “I intend to go higher.” This can really make the time you spend most effective so you don’t feel like you’re dwelling on your negative emotions. You are not doing this to punish yourself, you are doing it to HONOR yourself.

3. You can also imagine yourself surrounded by the light of your Higher Self or Source, so that as you allow yourself to face your emotions, you are allowing a higher vibration to replace them. If your negative emotions are like a dark room, you are surrounding that dark room with light and by allowing yourself to feel them you are in essence opening the door and allowing the light to flood in.

4. Start writing out how you feel. You can even start your sentence off with “I feel…” and go from there. And as you are writing, let yourself FEEL your negative emotions. Don’t just write and focus on how others are behaving, that’s not the point, the point is to feel your emotions so they can begin to dissipate. And again, the point is also to honor yourself and send out the vibration of “my feelings are important, I am important!”

5. Continue until you feel relief and you feel a bit lighter.

6. Once you feel some relief, celebrate that you have taken a big step by honoring yourself and your emotions!

7. To end on a positive note, begin to write about how you want to feel and as you do, allow yourself to feel these positive, good-feeling emotions.

Making yourself a priority and honoring yourself and your emotions is an important part of your journey. This shift to allowing yourself to feel your emotions is one of the most important one you can make, and until you show you’re important you can’t attract different from others!


Copyright 2009 Fia Crandall